Sincerely, Always Confused

I have had lots of moments this year that have caused me to feel lots of different emotions, but then when I sit down at the computer I may not have the same enthusiasm or feeling I originally had about the topic. Which is kind of sad in a way because I feel like there are thing that are worth talking about or expressing to others, but maybe I shouldn't view circumstances in my life as how they could be interpreted to others, but keep them to myself and find out why or what these situations mean for me. That all sounds really confusing and probably not in perfect english so I'll try again. I feel like I have this desire to blog about how God is working in me, and because I want something from that feeling. Whether it be something beneficial like others opinions or prayers. Or something terrible like, people to view me as smart or spiritual (And if my terribleness has made you think anything good about me don't believe it) Either way "I want". I'm starting to think "I want" could be the slogan to my life ("soon I'll swallow people whole") But as I go through my week and I see and feel different things sometimes my first reaction is how can I interpret this amazing feeling to others. And this has happened to me alot this year, I almost feel as if God is putting me in certain places at certain times to see things, I couldn't tell you what the reason is for them, but I know that God stirs my soul in these moments. And I wonder if maybe I am unable to see why God puts me in these situations because I immediately take it and try to use it for my own benefit. "I want"