school Spirit

I am back in Minnesota. I was quickly reminded of what life was like. I have done more activities in the last couple of days then I have done in a long time. This morning is the first time I have been able to be alone, relax and read. I'm reading a really good book called "Jesus wants to save christians" It is about oppression and freedom and the Eucharist. I highly recommend it to everyone. I started my day drinking coffee with the Kinleys and Zach, now I'm sitting in a papason couch (no idea how to spell that) I was wondering if people in the sixties/seventies thought some of the same things I do about christianity (not that I am correct in any of my thinking) . I was thinking specifically about when the bible was taken out of schools. I know that most "christians" were probably all up in arms. I wonder if any were happy, I wonder if any thought that If the bible was now a choice not a tradition that it could make faith more sincere. I wonder if God took the bible out of schools?

A Love Child

To those who have not heard, Lizzie and I are having a baby. At first it put us in decision mode. (to stay or go home) We talked much, I can't say we prayed much, but then again I don't think it's about how much you pray. I had a moment on the big hill out behind our house where I stood quiet and just whispered "God...God....God" not for a specific reason, I just joined with the wind and the trees in there constant praising of our Father. God has opened doors for us to stay.(thank you Father) He has provided us a roof, a vehicle, healthcare, food. I'm ashamed that I need to know that my needs are going to be met before I make a decision, but I pray someday that I will "let the dead bury there own" and just go. We are staying, for how long I couldn't say. We have a plan to go home in April, but I might not even wake up tomorrow so why do I make plans for it? Being a father sounds crazy. Being responsible for a life is a feeling I can't quite describe yet. I have ideas of how to raise a child, but what do I know. I plan out crazy schemes to teach them lessons along the way (not quite like arrested development). I wonder how a man who is as wretched as I am can teach a child to be better than I am. I realize that Christ makes us righteous,therefore no one is better than another, but I, in my humanity judge by outside actions. I wonder if as a father I have the right to judge my child, will I know my childs heart? Will I punish actions done out of love? Will I force my will on my child? Will I act out of a love that keeps no record of wrongs? Will I be patient? Will I be kind? I can only hope to show my child Love. Love that hopefully speaks of who God is.

do blogs need to have a point?

Usually i takes me a few hours to write a blog. Reason being because I am a terrible sinner who thinks more of his pride than anything else. Father forgive me. I am laying on a futon typing on a laptop that has the screen aimed at my fingers to light the keys as I type. Thanksgiving came and went, and America (as it is told) shopped till it dropped. I originally typed a sentence about people changing, but I have erased it because they are not the problem, I am the problem. So I started painting recently... I couldn't tell you why I started but truthfully I am glad I did. You can check it out here http://iwouldnotcallthatart.blogspot.com/ or I have a link on my page under the other people section to your right. I can post my paintings easier than I write a blog because somehow I care more about how people perceive me (Father forgive me) than how people judge my talents-or lack thereof. I have thought a lot recently about the fact the Jesus was homeless. I feel as if I was never told this growing up. If Jesus didn't live to own a house and relax, why do I? or do I ? Hmmmmmm..... I miss lots of things about Minnesota (mainly people), but here I am, a low income white male living on a reservation learning how to teach an AA class. God works in crazy ways. I wish I was able to quiet the selfishness in me that screams for Maxwells with friends, and being able to tell good news in person, early morning coffee with friends, and seeing marriages grow. I'm terribly confused about where I am going with this so I'll call it a night. Grace and peace to you.