Trees Water People

I helped an organization called Trees water people a few weeks back. We were planting trees to provide shade in the summer, and block the wind in the winter. I want to tell you about the process of planting trees on the reservation. After planting some trees and hearing of the struggle to keep trees alive here, it was reminescent of another struggle you may see on the reservation. The first thing you do when planting a tree is dig a hole. You need to break through the surface, depending on the location it may be easy or it may be very hard. After you get down 5 or 6 inches past the surface you reach the firm rocky soil. That's when the real work begins. A pick axe works great to break up the soil and rocks that have settled and hardened from years of being undisturbed. Once the hole is dug you set the tree in, and pack the dirt in around the base in hopes it will with stand the forces of nature to come. At this point most might think were done. The problem here is that it doesn't rain often, and the soil itself is not capable of giving the tree enough nutrients. It needs people to trim and water it. This place has been a mission field for a long time. The people heard the gospel from every different denomination you can think of. Some may have allowed themselves to open up, and talk about those undisturbed areas they keep hidden. Maybe even some have accepted christ, but they still need the nutrients of a loving christian community, to survive from the forces of darkness. God, send people with watering cans here to truly nurture and care for your beloved.

A childrens story

Follow along and I'll try to tell story (I can't prove its true) -A young girl grows up in a broken home. When she is really young she watches her older siblings start to attend a weekly kids program put on by church groups from all over the country.It looks incredibly fun. When she is finally old enough to attend the program she receives so much attention, she can get a hug or piggyback ride whenever she wants. Its a love she may not be receiving at home, and it feels good. At the end of each week she has to say goodbye to her "Friend" for the week. Then the summer ends and she has to say Goodbye for good. It's hard for her to explain how she feels. She knows the people who were here liked her, but she couldn't understand why they had to leave. After a few summers of the same, she starts to change, the good feelings once felt for new people become harder to achieve, she begins to expect people to leave. She starts to close herself off from these groups, and if she does attend she is destructive and unruly. Sometimes she even gets kicked out of the program. As she grows, she starts to realize that these type of church groups are in her neighborhood all the time. There are people painting houses, people building ramps, people raking yards, people doing lots of things. She wonders if others in her neighborhood feel the same. She wonders why people want to come to her neighborhood so often. She starts to feel like charity. She finds comfort in a group of kids who feel the same about church. They do whatever they want and continue to build up walls to everything church related. She may never doubt the way she originally felt about those groups, but she wishes she knew back then what she does now. She wishes she could go back and every time someone told her she was their friend or she was loved, she would say "Actions speak louder than words". And every time they would tell her about God she would say "What does God think about my dad beating my mom, or what does God think about my brother committing suicide" (and i bet that person would be shellshocked that this beautiful child even knew about those sorts of things, and if I had to guess that is probably only the tip of the iceberg of all the things she had seen) The truth is she felt love from those first groups, all those years ago. She felt affection and comfort and all the other things that lacked from her family life. The problem is she always needs to feel loved. She needs people around her who will always love her and care for her the way those groups did for such a short time. She needs to be told that she is beautiful and that her life is worth something. This story poses so many questions about what I am doing here, and the fact that as I meet people I have to tell them that I already have a plan to be leaving. It's disheartening, it makes me question if I really care about this place. I hope you will all be praying for me.

Under the sun

I took a field trip with the Pine Ridge Dorm boys and girls to Chadron for a movie (An American Carol) and some Mcdonalds. We ate our mcdonalds at the local park. I ate with a group of three high school boys, we started talking about life on the rez. They told me they don't like going home on weekends.( The dorms are open during the week not the weekend) They said there families don't want them there, they talked about drugs and alcohols appeal while staying at home. They talked about parties and girls and sex and all I did was listen. They kept reverting back to the fact that life sucks. In my therapist like questioning of there situations I asked if there was anything worth living for. There answer was "no", they said that there was no way anything could be worse than there lives now, that where they were now was Hell, and whatever comes next would be heaven. They are living in hell. In our preparation for this year the phrase "joining God in what he is already doing" was thrown around alot. Sometimes I question that God really is working here, It feels like a hopeless place. I am not a wise man, I don't have answers or explanations to why things are the way they are, but I'll leave you with some words from a wise man.

"Again I looked and saw all the oppression that was taking place under the sun: I saw the tears of the oppressed— and they have no comforter; power was on the side of their oppressors— and they have no comforter.And I declared that the dead, who had already died, are happier than the living, who are still alive.But better than both is the one who has not yet been, who has not seen the evil that is done under the sun." - King Solomon

"If ever you come near"

My friends Zach and Hope got married this weekend. It truly was an amazing wedding. There are lots of small moments from that day that will stick with me for a while. Rob Bell in "Velvet Elvis" talks about having to take off his shoes because he felt that the ground he was standing on was holy. During the ceremony I took my shoes off, I dug my toes into the ground and I just watched Zach and Hope looking at each other. It was a Holy moment. To combat my overwhelming emotions of the whole day I tried not to look directly at them. (I had to, snot was starting to drip on my nice outfit!) so I looking down at the ground in front of me and I lifted my head and I looked at Lizzie and I was overwhelmed with feelings for her. It took every bit of restraint not to reach out and hold her. It was as if I was feeling how God feels for Lizzie.(not that I know anything about it) It was an extreme longing, I truly adored her. I felt so many emotions that weekend that I haven't even been able to process them all, but I thank God for all of them.

"If ever you come near, I'll hold up high a mirror, Lord I could never show you anything as beautiful as you" - Aaron Weiss