I am leaving Minnesota and moving to South Dakota in twenty some days. I feel like inside of me there is a distant suspicision that I won't be coming back. I have nothing more than a feeling, and to be honest "feelings" are my biggest motivator to do anything. Reasoning and decision making are not strong suits of mine, because I am moved more by feelings. I can't descibe it anymore than that. I can never say I have made a decision because God told me to, but how do I know. Maybe God messes with the chemical inside my head, and makes me "feel" like I should or should not be doing something. My decision to do Greaterworks was an easy one, because I could honestly feel like I was supposed to be there. I pray that I will never lose my ability to feel, I pray I can be moved and not held back by people or objects. I pray that I will be moved to change and to not stop changing.
First Blog
I hope I can always write this blog without motive. I have a hard time writing because i feel sometimes I write to make people feel or think a certain way about me. I hope this can just be for me a place to express thoughts and feelings and write them down to always be reminded of who I was, and what I was thinking here and now. I am in a place of transition. I quit my full time job to do ministry for a year. I'll be honest I do worry if it was the right decision, but who is to say what the right decision really is. Also who's to say that the things I worry about (money, future, comfort) are really worth worrying about. If I were to be honest ,in my heart I am not worried, I cant wait. Although there are parts of my flesh that continue to bring up those "what are you gonna do about-----------" questions, I am working to feel complete in who God made me and where he will take me. It feels right now like an adventure, and I hope it always does.
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